The Ripple Effect
by lecreatiflulu
Summary: Chapter 13 added. After the defeat of vegnagun, Spira reunites again. Yuna must now solve her own problems instead of others. For this, a trip to Bevelle is in order. Yunalai Story really starts on chapter 2! Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

The Ripple Effect

Chapter 1

The water lay still and tranquil as the moonlight's rays reflected on its surface. Such serenity greatly contrasted the thoughts plaguing her mind as she stood waist deep in the lake.

"Let's go to the sea… before the sunrise," he decided, gazing through the branches to the moon. "The city lights go out… one by one. The stars fade…" he paused. "Then the horizon glows, almost like it's on fire." He exclaimed, his arms capturing the sunrise pictured in his mind.

Slowly she walks to his side, contemplating his vision.

"It's kinda rose-coloured, right? First in the sea, then it spreads to the sky… then to the whole city. It gets brighter and brighter, till everything glows." He says, admiring his view.

Silently she backs away from him, trying to hide the immediate flood of emotion searing over her.

"It's really pretty," he sighs gently. "I know you'd like it," he whispers.

"I'd like to see it… someday," she replies quietly.

What he had described was so beautiful; it made her heart break. She would never be able to see it, she was a summoner, and her fate had been decided. Or could she?

"Well you can, Yuna. We can both go!"

No she couldn't. She can't ignore it. She can't ignore the pain and suffering endured by the people of Spira. Gradually the feeling of despair grew too much to bear. A single tear slid down her cheek, embracing the mystical water.

"Yu..?" he asks.

He turns to see her with her back to him, her shoulders rising and falling as she cries tears of sweet dew.

"I can't. I just can't." She whispers. "I can't go!" she whispers more forcefully, unable to stop the sadness creeping into her voice.

She bows her head trying to hide herself from him. She didn't want him to see her cry. He walked to wards her and hung his head, unsure of himself. But now he knows what to do.

He looks at her again, admiring her delicate beauty. He holds her shoulders trying to offer his support but she doesn't stop.

"Yuna," he whispers. She wipes away her tears and timidly looks up. The look on his face causes her to cease crying. He is smiling yet his eyes show worry; he cares.

On impulse, he did what he had wanted to do for a long time: he leaned in and kissed her. She didn't resist. She just closed her eyes and absorbed the bliss she felt exuding around her.

As the pyreflies spiralled around their embrace, they fell back and descended underwater.

Suddenly there was a shallow panting noise. The water became hot and sticky. Yuna woke up in a jolt, her face wet and her eyes red from tears. Her body glistened with perspiration from writhing in her sleep.

She put a hand to her head. Not again, this has gone too far. A memory can't keep haunting her.

She looked around the hut. Rikku was sleeping peacefully in the bed next to hers, curled up in a ball. Well at least she hadn't ruined everyone else's sleep. She swung her legs round to sit on her bed.

It was either late night or early morning. Either way, she wasn't going to be able to fall asleep again soon. Why is that memory such a nightmare? Why can't she let go?

She shook her head and waited for her breathing to return to normal. After a while she stood up, grabbed her bathing suit and towel and set off for the sea. The salt will help clear her mind. She needed time to think.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

She stood on the shore, watching the waves lull onto the sand. Feeling the chilling sea against the soles of her feet as she walked out towards the stars. Although she was a summoner no more, she still possessed some of her old talents.

Two years had passed since that moment when they had been together at Macalania Woods. Two years since he promised her that he would stay with her:

"Not until the end… always."

Yet, he still disappeared. She waited and waited; there had been no sign of him. Until Rikku found that sphere, she would have whiled away in her hut accepting appointment after appointment of those who wished to see High Summoner Yuna. She would have remained attached to her past. Never moving on, just waiting as the years slowly passed her by. Waiting for a memory. Waiting for it to embrace her, waiting for it to love her again.

Instead of waiting, she decided to take fate in her own hands. Hunting all-over Spira for spheres to find any link to her lost lover. She had changed. There was no need for her to be selfless any more. She could do what she wanted, when and wherever it took her fancy. It was her first taste of true freedom and she liked it.

After saving Spira again, the Gullwings were returning to the surface with Spira's leaders: Gippal, Baralai and Nooj. With the shadow of Vegnagun behind them, they continued through the farplane. The fayth had appeared before her. Thanked her and offered to bring him back. At first, she was uncertain, but nodded. A few minutes later he appeared just a few feet in front of her.

She felt light and dizzy, in a burst of happiness and relief she ran to him, her arms out-stretched. Finally they would be reunited and she wouldn't have to worry. She ran closer and closer. In less than a second, she was against his chest and looking into his eyes. But she kept going, time slowed and she fell to the floor on her side. Just like she had done before he faded.

So it was true, he was dead. A tear ran down her cheek as a pyrefly flew past her head. Just a memory.

Since then she had returned to Besaid, resting after her ordeal. Ever since she had seen his image, every night the same memory appeared in her dreams. The memory soon turned into a nightmare. It was a reminder of the promise he broke and the love, which she had lost.

Standing on the sea's still surface, she sighed, took a deep breath and immersed herself underwater. The shock from the cold immediately scattered her thoughts. She swam up and down the shore participating in the therapeutic exercise of gliding through the water to ease her mind. After an hour or so she emerged from the water and collapsed on the beach, breathing heavily. Her skin encrusting in sand as it dried.

There was no escaping these memories; Spira was full of them. The only way to tackle this problem was head on. She had travelled Spira with the Gullwings and hadn't felt much pain. Why was this particular memory such a problem? Maybe, because of all the excitement of doing missions and fighting fiends it had taken her mind off the feeling of loss. Maybe, not thinking about it dulls the pain. But feelings can only be bottled up for so long before bursting again. Perhaps, she should remember the memories she had before she met him. No… not him, Tidus. If she was going to confront the problem, she would have to admit the facts.

Before she met …Tidus she was here, on Besaid. Before that, she was in Bevelle. That's it! She could return to Bevelle to remember her other memories. Like the massive celebration after Sin had been defeated. The sadness she felt when she knew her father was dead. All the others where he wasn't present. Where _Tidus_ wasn't present.

With a sigh of relief, she stretched out on the sand, her first genuine smile for weeks spread across her face. Finally a plan of action. She gently closed her eyes, just about to drift off…

"Hey Yunie!" said the beaming, upside down face of Rikku.

"Hey Rikku, what's up?" she replied drowsily.

"Just came to check up on you, I noticed you'd left the hut," cheerily, she sat down beside Yuna. Yuna sat up. Nothing could dampen Rikku's mood.

"Sorry, if I woke you."

"Nah, I needed to stretch my legs anyways. So… was it that dream again?" she asked her eyes sparkling with curiosity.

"Mmhmm."

"Hmm… do you think, it could be that your subconscious part of your mind is trying to tell you something? Because I've never known anyone get nightmares so bad. Well apart from Brother, he used to always have this dream of a chocobo chasing after him!" she laughed. "He always woke up screaming." She sighed. "Yunie… is there anyway I can help? Read you a bedtime story? Or something like that?" She asked. Yuna laughed.

"I'll tell you when I think of something. Ok?" She paused.

Should she tell Rikku about her plans for Bevelle? Rikku was leaving tomorrow, first to get Gippal from Djose temple and then to Bikanel Island to help rebuild home. If she could get to Djose temple, she could make her way from there.

"Rikku?" she asked.

"Yep?"

"Do you think I could hitch a ride with you on the Celsius? You can drop me off at the temple of Djose. It's just I'm planning on going to Bevelle to stay for a while."

"Really? Sure! Of course! Gullwings are always allowed on the Celsius. I'm sure Gippal won't mind the extra trip to Bevelle. Oh! Yunie! It'll be like another mission for the Gullwings!" By this time, Rikku had dragged Yuna off her feet and they had been jumping around each other in circles.

"Woahh…" suddenly Rikku stopped jumping and stared out towards the sea.

In all the excitement, they hadn't realised that the sun had slowly begun to rise. It was glorious and for the first time, Yuna felt like the sorrow in her heart had been lifted. Sure she still felt it, but she was happy. Happier than she had been in a long time. Finally, everything is going to turn out all right.

* * *

Next thing she knew she was standing on the bridge of the Celsius, soaring through the air towards Djose. It felt good to be on the move again. She hugged herself in excitement, smiling to herself.

"Hey there," said a voice from behind her.

Yuna turned around to find Paine with a slight smirk on her face - this was the closest Paine ever got to a smile.

"Hey!" she said as she ran and squeezed Paine into a hug. She leaned back "It's good to see you again."

"Yeah, and you too." She replied as Yuna let go. That was Paine all right, short and concise. But she could tell that Paine was happy. "So… you're off to Bevelle then?" asked Paine.

"Mmhmm, I have some unfinished business to take care off."

Paine nodded; she understood when Yuna didn't want to tell her something. Paine always respected Yuna's privacy, probably because Yuna had let Paine be more often than Rikku had.

"…And we all know what that business is about," Rikku giggled mischievously. "Or should I say _who!_"

Rikku walked up to the landing after having talked with Buddy. She was heavily hinting at something. Yuna realised what it was; she began to feel her face glow. Paine raised her eyebrows, curious.

"I don't know what you mean." Muttered Yuna hastily, turning away to hide her blossoming face.

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Paine smirking - properly. Surely, they didn't believe that. Her motives were pure! She swung round to confront them.

"Rikku, I'm not going to see anyone! I just want to visit my birthplace, that's all." She replied, bewildered.

"That may be what you think, but I know that Baralai is quite taken with you," teased Rikku.

"Baralai? Well… he can keep his feelings to himself, I have no intention of visiting him while I'm in Bevelle."

"Yunie! You're not even slightly curious?"

Why was Rikku asking her this? He had never shown these 'feelings' to her. Wait… unless, he did show them but she hadn't noticed. It was true; he had spent some time with her after the incident with Vegnagun when they all rested on the Celsius. But she had been dealing with the hollow feeling she had felt after knowing that he…. no, _Tidus_ was dead.

He had never said much, just sat there in companionable silence. She hadn't noticed, nor realised what the others thought. In fact, she had never even looked at him properly. She had been completely oblivious to what else was going on around her. All these thoughts made her head hurt.

"Yunie?" asked Rikku, worried. Yuna hadn't realised she had been staring into space for that long.

"Look, Rikku please… let it go. It's nothing to do with him." With that, she strode off the bridge. The happiness she had felt had disappeared as quickly as it had arrived. All she could hear as she left was Rikku whimpering. No doubt, Paine wasn't pleased.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Yuna went to sit on the deck for a while. She needed to be alone to organise her thoughts.

Why had she never noticed him? Why was he the one caring for her? When he was the one that was possessed by Shuyin. Hold on… these feelings he had, they couldn't be anything to do with Shuyin's feelings for Lenne? After all, they were both puppets to them, except Yuna had the gift of free will.

Oh, what does it matter? She's not going to see him anyway, so there is nothing to worry about.

Behind her, she heard the deck door thunk. The visitor shuffled towards her. It was Rikku, with a serious case of the fidgets. Whenever Rikku fidgets you can tell she's feeling guilty about something.

"Umm.. hey Yunie" said Rikku nervously. Yuna stayed sitting down and turned her head.

"Hey Rikku," replied Yuna. She put on a weak smile, but that was enough invitation for Rikku. Rikku slumped down beside her and started fiddling with her braids.

The silence went on for a few more minutes, until Rikku couldn't hold it in much longer. She quickly attached herself to Yuna in a tight embrace.

"Oh! Yunie! I'm so sorry, you're not mad at me are you? If you are then please forgive me! I didn't mean what I said... Well, I did... but I didn't mean to hurt you!" cried Rikku in a sudden outburst.

"It's ok Rikku! It's ok!" said Yuna, her voice slightly muffled by the amount of hair in her face. Rikku pulled back, standing on all fours.

"You say that but you don't mean it," sulked Rikku. "Me and my big mouth." Rikku returned to her side and crossed all the limbs she had.

Yuna, still surprised, pulled the sulky Rikku close to her. Rikku tried to resist, but soon gave up and nestled against her.

"It's my fault, I shouldn't have reacted that way. Just because someone likes me doesn't mean it's the end of the world." apologised Yuna.

"No... It's ok, everyone gets mad sometimes. Even you, even me, even Paine! Especially Paine." They both giggled. "So why is it you wanna go to Bevelle anyways?" asked Rikku.

Yuna wondered to herself whether she should tell Rikku. She could, but then most of Spira would know before she even got there, and she really didn't need publicity at the moment. But if she didn't, Rikku would keep on thinking up these weird ideas, like the one of her and Baralai. Though that didn't seem so far-fetched now that she thought about it. No! don't think that!

"...There are just a few things I have to sort out. Remember I did used to live in Bevelle." She paused, Rikku didn't stir. "And I can tell you now, none of these things have anything to do with the praetor." She said firmly.

"Mmmmm... Ok, I believe you. What's your secret is now mine." Rikku said cheerfully, miming a zipping action on her mouth.

At that moment, the loudspeaker rang out.

"Hey Girls, you better come inside now, we're about to land in Djose." Said the crackled voice of Buddy.

Together they returned to the Bridge. Yuna was glad she had that talk with Rikku. Now that Gippal was joining them, she doubted she would have Rikku to herself for much longer.

* * *

As Yuna waited for his arrival on the bridge, she could hear his whistles of admiration of the Celsius as he approached. It was true; nothing could get in between Gippal and his love for Machina.

"Hey hey hey! Gippal is here!" he announced with as much gusto as he could muster. He stood there with his hands on his hips, admiring the view. "Man, it feels sooo good to be on the move again. I've been stuck in that temple for months."

Unable to contain her emotions for much longer, Rikku pounced into his arms. Yuna was surprised that she had lasted that long.

"Hey! Cid's girl" he teased, holding her in his arms. Immediately she sprang off him.

"Hey! I have a name you know!" she retorted in defence. This state didn't last long on her though as she ran straight back into his arms. "Oh! Come here you great lummox!" she giggled, kissing his cheek.

Yuna and Paine glanced at each other. Before the level of intimacy escalated, Yuna decided she'd have to distract them.

"Rikku? Why don't you give Gippal the grand tour?" she asked, hoping Rikku would take the hint.

Paine can get in bad moods when lovebirds were around, especially Rikku and Gippal lovebirds.

"Hmmm? Oh! Of course! This way you!" she ordered, dragging a confused looking Gippal behind her. Gippal just managed to say hi to Paine and Yuna before the Bridge door slammed shut.

"Thank you," whispered Paine, as she sighed with relief.

"No Problem," replied Yuna, secretly smiling to herself. She had missed all the fuss and excitement on the Celsius.

The bridge returned to its silent state. Yuna remembered that when she was younger all she had ever wanted was peace and quiet. How wrong she had been.

Later, everyone met up for the evening meal in the cabin. That was when Rikku and Gippal finally returned after their 'grand tour'. All Paine said when they returned was:

"Took them long enough."

Beaming the couple sat down and began to pile their plates with food. Maybe it was some sort of trait of the Al Bhed? They always ate in over their heads.

As Yuna ate, listening to the buzzing conversations around her, she glanced over to the spot where Baralai had sat. How could she not have noticed he was there? She sighed, feeling guilt-ridden.

"Yuna?" someone asked, far off in the distance.

"Hmm?" Said Yuna returning to reality, she had completely zoned out. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"I was just wondering what the high summoner will be doing. Cos' you're not coming to help out with rebuilding Home are you?" Asked Gippal, mocking the words high summoner with a funny voice. Yuna decided to ignore the tease.

"Oh! No I'm going to stay in Bevelle for a while, I have some business to do there." She said carefully, trying to make it sound as if it were the most normal thing anyone would do. But Gippal had other ideas. He paused, letting the food he was about to shove down his throat wait.

"Oh really? What sort of business?" He inquired, feigning innocence.

"None of yours," replied Yuna, with an extra sweet smile to add insult.

"Owwie! You've been told!" Laughed Rikku. Paine was smirking as well. It wasn't often that Yuna played Gippal's games.

"Ah! Right, I get it," said Gippal standing up. "Well if you'll excuse me ladies, I'm going to make a call." Informed Gippal.

Yuna glared at Rikku, Rikku gulped.

"Hey don't go so soon! Who're you gonna call at this time anyway?" Rikku said whilst jumping off her seat.

"Oh just an old friend. Why're you so interested?" he asked wearing a mischievous grin.

"Cos' I am!" she replied, trying to buy more time so she could find out who it was. Shaking his head, he turned to the elevator.

Yuna decided to risk it, even if he wasn't going to call Baralai. She could tell, even from only one eye, that he was planning something. Quickly she ducked past him and went up the elevator to the bridge. Seeing Shinra's old desk, she quickly grabbed the commsphere on top when Gippal came through the door. She clutched it against her chest as he approached.

"Come on Yuna, since when is it forbidden to use the commsphere?" he laughed at her unease.

"For whom?" she replied icily. Whenever Yuna got mad, she got formal.

"I said, just an old friend," he tried to swipe it, but she dodged.

"Who?" she asked exhausted. He saw she was tiring, which will make it easier for him to grab the commsphere.

"Baralai of course!" he exclaimed. "Who else? I was gonna call for you and ask whether you could stay at his place. Why? You guys are still friends aren't ya?" he asked, his eye focused on the commsphere.

Friends!? They barely knew each other.

"Thanks for the offer, I'll be fine." She said coldly.

At that moment, Rikku and Paine appeared through the door.

"Rikku and Paine to the rescue!" Squealed Rikku in excitement.

That distraction was all Gippal needed. He managed to catch her off guard but ended up fighting for the commsphere with her back to him. Not the easiest way to win a fight, he thought to himself.

Meanwhile, Baralai sat at his desk in Bevelle. His mind was knee-deep in paperwork, when the commsphere bleeped. Who would be calling him at this time of night? Dropping his pen, he opened the connection, unknowing to the mayhem on board the Celsius.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

At first, the image was black and blurry, there were strange noises coming from the background. As if someone was shuffling, making little gasps as they did so. He strained his ears to see if he recognised any of the voices. If he couldn't see who it was, he would just have to listen. Wait… was that Gippal? It would be like him to call this late at night. But what was wrong with the commsphere?

"...Look! …just give it up will ya? I'm… doing this for you! You know… you want this … Yuna! Just give it to me!" crackled the gasping voice of Gippal.

Baralai was taken aback. High Summoner Yuna? What was he doing with her? And why all these strange noises? Were they… making love? No, he said mentally shaking his head. Gippal may do some things but that wasn't one of them.

"Gippal! Get… off of me!" shouted a more than irritated Yuna.

Was she calling him for help? What in the name of New Yevon is going on? Unable to answer any of these questions he decided to unveil his presence. Surely, there must be some mistake?

"Gippal? …Lady Yuna? Hello?" he said firmly but cautiously.

* * *

Out of nowhere, Yuna began to feel something vibrate against her chest. Wait the commsphere! It had been activated. Immediately she pulled it away, to find a rather confused looking Baralai.

"Lady Yuna?" he asked worried.

She couldn't speak, she could feel the blood rushing to her face but she couldn't move. During Yuna's momentary paralysis, Gippal grabbed the commsphere and signalled to Paine and Rikku to keep her quiet.

Yuna struggled but soon gave up, instead focusing her energy on getting revenge. They were not going to get away with this.

* * *

The commsphere had zoomed out and he had come face to face with a horrified looking Yuna.

"Lady Yuna?" he had asked.

Baralai, still thoroughly confused, didn't get much chance to ask what was going on. The next thing he knew he was facing an exasperated Gippal. Where had Lady Yuna gone? And what was that muffled sound in the background?

"Gippal? Is there a problem? What's going on?"

"Hey Baralai! Long time no see eh? Just called to chat." Gippal said, still trying to catch his breath. What had he been doing?

"At this time of night?"

" Uhh… Yeah! I figured you wouldn't have any appointments now. I have to be careful y'know, you have a very busy schedule being the maester and all." Gippal smiled. How considerate, Baralai could tell he was lying for all he was worth.

"It's Praetor, not maester." He sighed, as he had to remind Gippal yet again of his occupation.

"Yeah, yeah, sure. Tell me, us being old friends and all. Would you mind doing a favour for me?"

"What kind of favour?" Baralai asked cautiously, trying to read Gippal's mind.

" Well… ya see. Yuna is gonna go stay in Bevelle for a while and she was wondering whether she could go and stay at your place." He said scratching his head.

Baralai didn't know what to say to this. Of course, she was always welcome to stay. But why hadn't she asked him? She was on the commsphere just before. Deciding it would be impolite to ask he let his curiosity be.

"Of course," Baralai nodded. "Lady Yuna is most welcome here. When is her arrival?"

"Should be around… tomorrow evening at the latest. OK? Cheers mate. Bye!" Gippal said cheerily as the commsphere flicked off.

Baralai leaned back in his chair. He couldn't help but think that there was more to this. Well if she was arriving for tomorrow he better start making preparations. After all, she is the high summoner. She should be shown the respect she deserves.

* * *

Yuna stormed back up to the cabin and collapsed on her bed, coughing up frustrated and angry tears. How could they do this! How could they do this to her when she is already trying to fix a problem, her problem! She started to thump her pillow. Now she will have to deal with two at once! Her mind felt like it was about to explode as she let out a muffled scream into the victim that was her pillow.

After Gippal had made the arrangement, Yuna had fought free and ran away with tears in her eyes. No-one had followed her. She knew Rikku would try, but Paine would stop her.

"She needs time to herself, let her be."

Yuna now lay still; the uncontrollable spasms of emotion had resided. She shouldn't have reacted that way. She always reacts the wrong way. So what, Gippal was being a jerk and she was betrayed by her friends. But it wasn't that bad. Maybe they had their reasons? No, she shouldn't forgive them so easily. Still, Yuna knew she couldn't hold such a silly grudge forever. Ok, you're going to stay at Baralai's place. All you have to do is act normal, she said trying to console herself. What is normal? She groaned. He'll probably be too over-booked in his schedule to have time for her anyway.

Suddenly thinking about that reminded her of the feelings she had when she was booked up for months. No! You cannot feel sorry for him!

Yuna collapsed, exhausted. Just sleep… please sleep.

Again, Yuna woke up with a jolt. She glanced towards the clock… 4am! She had only been asleep for two hours. She rubbed her head, waiting for her breathing to relax. Of all the nights to be kept awake, it had to be this one. Fed up with herself she walked down the stairs to the bar.

"Barkeep!" she whispered, trying not to wake the others. "Barkeep! Are you there?"

"Ooh hello there mish Yuna, how may I help you?" replied a sleepy darling. Not exactly the hypello she wanted, but close enough.

"Hi Darling, sorry to bother you but I need a sleeping draft." Sleeping drafts made sure that you fell asleep, but they can have bad side effects. Yuna was willing to risk it. She needed all her energy for tomorrow.

"Are you shure mish Yuna?" asked the hypello.

"Yes," Yuna replied, not trying to attract too much attention to herself. But they were still sleeping.

"Here you go," the hypello handed her a blue flask.

"Thank you," said Yuna as she delicately picked it up. The vial seemed very fragile.

She returned to her bed and lied down. She had taken a sleeping draft before. But only when she was very ill. As she pulled of the stopper a blue vapour hissed into the air, it made her feel dizzy. She took a small whiff and in seconds, she was out.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Yunie! Yunie! Yunie!"

What? …What's going on?

Yuna woke up; her bed was bouncing violently.

"Time to wake up sleepyhead!" said a voice, which she recognised to be Rikku's.

"Eurgh… what time is it?" replied a groggy Yuna.

"12pm! Rise and shine!" Yuna suddenly felt a chill on her legs as her duvet was ripped from her bed.

12pm! Yuna suddenly realised how late she had slept in. She had to move! She has to pack. What felt like a million jobs to do flooded into her mind.

Yuna rubbed her eyes and got up. She had a bad headache, but she had slept! At least she didn't feel so tired.

"I brought you this!" said Rikku as she thrusted a cup of coffee under Yuna's nose.

Coffee had been Yuna's life support these past few weeks. Feeling slightly reluctant to take it, she reminded herself how late she was. Yuna gulped it down and stood up.

The next few hours were going to be spent packing. Although half of the day had already flown by, Yuna knew that it was still going to be a long one.

* * *

As Yuna said goodbye to everyone on the Celsius, she stepped down off the ramp into the sullen rain. So here we are, Bevelle at last. She clutched her bag and wrapped her coat tightly. She had forgotten how cold it could be in Bevelle. As she walked steadily to the temple entrance, she anticipated the meeting with the Praetor.

Yuna braced herself as she walked through the entrance, she expected to have many Yevon believers flock to come and greet her. But all she found was the praetor speaking softly to some sort of Yevon official. The rest of the place was empty. She gave a huge sigh of relief; he must have understood that she didn't want publicity. For the first time, Yuna felt a slight admiration for the man. However, it was soon batted away by her conflicting feelings.

The draft that passed through the door behind her swirled his elaborate coat gently. He turned to see the visitor and abruptly ended his conversation. A nifty way of keeping an eye on visitors, she thought to herself.

Purposely he walked towards her. Yuna shifted her weight feeling slightly uncomfortable. The rain from her coat dripping onto the floor. He performed the prayer and stood up. His expression was welcoming, almost friendly.

"Welcome Lady Yuna, I trust that you had a safe journey?" he enquired politely.

"Yes… Thankyou," she replied. Sensing her unease, he spoke to break the silence.

"I am sorry we couldn't offer you our full hospitality. I judged from your message that you wouldn't be making a public appearance."

"Mmm," she nodded.

Yuna just wished she could get this over with, but didn't want to appear rude. She hoped her monosyllabic answers would give him enough hints.

"I'm sorry your grace, I am tired from the tra…"

"Of course! Please let me show you to your room." He interrupted. She could see that he was stung by the formality. But she wasn't going to call him by his first name just yet.

They walked together, with Yuna slightly behind to follow him. She noticed that he had a brisk walk. No doubt, he used it many times to navigate the maze that was Bevelle.

Yuna tried to memorise the paths she walked; she didn't want to get lost in this place. They walked past several courtyards, many with fountains until they reached one of the many doors along the wall. As the Praetor opened the door, she walked straight through, refusing to make eye contact with him. Why was she so paranoid?

The room was lavishly decorated, with all the commodities she could possibly need. She couldn't help but stare, she was hoping for a more modest room. She looked out to the window. She even had a balcony! Though, the rain would refrain its use for a while.

"I trust the room is to your liking?" he enquired.

Yuna turned to see him standing there, his arms behind his back. This time she looked straight into his eyes. She took it all in: his platinum hair, his dark skin, and his brown eyes. Those eyes, she could tell that they were sincere, caring. Yet, he was hiding something and she couldn't find out what. A slight smile brushed her lips. She realised that he was a lot taller than she remembered.

Unused to being started at so intently, he cocked his head but didn't shake her gaze.

"Is there something wrong Lady Yuna?"

Suddenly realising what she was doing, Yuna returned her gaze to the floor. Her cheeks flushed. There she goes again, she thought. Her reactions were as bad as always.

"No, no. It's wonderful. Thankyou." She said looking up as she felt her natural colour return to her face.

He smiled and nodded. "I'm afraid I must leave you, there are matters which require my attention." He bowed. "Good evening, Lady Yuna." And with that he rushed out. An unexpected exit she had to admit, but at least he was gone.

Standing in the middle of the floor, she started to shiver. She removed her damp coat and decided to shower to warm herself up.

When she returned from her shower, a maid entered her room with a tray of a steaming beverage. Yuna felt slightly bare in her dressing gown, but the maid didn't seem to notice.

"Good evening milady, I brought you some hot cocoa so you don't catch a cold. Courtesy of the Praetor" said the maid, as she poured Yuna a cup of cocoa. "He sends his apologies for having to leave you so soon. The business he received was… unexpected," continued the maid.

"It's alright, thankyou."

The maid bowed and turned to leave. After being with so many people on the Celsius, Yuna didn't want to be alone. She reached out for at least a little company. If Baralai didn't have time for her, surely the maid would.

"Wait! …Um …please join me. It's been a while since I've been to Bevelle. Could you… tell me about all the changes?" said Yuna, desperately grabbing at short straws.

The maid turned, unsure but soon beamed and sat down. Yuna smiled in relief; already she was making new friends.

"Well, what do you wish to talk about Lady Yuna?" asked the maid. The maid was middle-aged but in good-shape. Yuna realised she would have to be careful. She didn't want any unnecessary rumours being spread around Bevelle.

"Well, firstly what's your name? And please, just call me Yuna." The maid brightened at the thought of referring to Yuna as only Yuna and not former High Summoner Yuna. Which was a mouthful in itself.

"My name's Methali," she replied beaming. With her new found confidence she started to pour herself a cup of cocoa. Yuna smiled.

"So what's changed since the Praetor came to power?"

The next few hours were occupied by the discussion of New Yevon, its politics and history. At the end of it all, Yuna was glad to find she was very tired. Saying goodbye to Methali, she collapsed into slumber on her bed.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Yuna woke up early from her nightmare, feeling the chill of a typical Bevelle morning. She was pleased with herself; she had slept longer than usual.

After getting up and showering, she realised that she couldn't rely on her gunner dress sphere for warmth in the stone corridors of Bevelle. Instead she opted for some pedal pushers and a wide neck green shirt. At least this'll stop her from turning blue.

For the rest of the day, Yuna wondered around Bevelle Temple. Originally, she had wanted to avoid the temple because of all the bad memories it contained. But the rain was still going strong and she was reluctant to relive good memories on a miserable day.

Wandering around the temple, she found that she attracted little to almost no attention. Everyone seemed busy preparing for something. With the decorations, she realised it must be for some sort of festival. However, Yuna was oblivious to the New Yevon calendar. She decided that she would wait and ask Methali, if she saw her.

Somewhere, far off in the distance, Yuna could hear the faint singing of the hymn of the fayth. Intrigued, Yuna set off to find the source. As the hymn grew louder, she reached the entrance to the cloister of trials. Where, as if they were standing guardians, the statues of former High Summoners stood tall and proud. Yuna was drawn towards her father's statue-Lord Braska. No matter how little she had known her father, she still loved him.

If only she could have got to know him a bit better. Of course, when Yuna was summoner, she had Kimahri, Lulu and Wakka for family. Later, she found her cousin Rikku and Uncle Cid. Then, the world didn't seem so lonely anymore. She stood there, wondering what it would have been like to have grown up with a real family.

As her eyes slowly caressed her father's face, she noticed a new instalment. Yuna recognised it instantly. She stared blankly at her 17-year-old self, captured in stone. It was so strange; none of the other temples had her in their temple. Why Bevelle?

"Lady Yuna, it is good to see you again," came a voice from behind her. It was Baralai; he spoke so softly it was as if he were praying. Yuna tore herself away from the statue, still confused as to why it was there. He didn't wait for a reply.

"I see you have seen your statue." He said as he walked to her side to observe the carving. "It was originally intended as a wedding gift to you from the Chairman's son." He glanced towards Yuna to see her reaction. Obviously, Yuna was embarrassed, but she managed to hide it.

"I'm afraid it was never meant to be." She said, flashing a quick smile. Two can play at this game, she thought to herself. She wasn't going to let him control her emotions. That would show weakness. "How come it still stands when the marriage was cancelled?"

"The people fought for you. They did not care about the personal feelings of the Chairman. You brought them the eternal calm. You gave them hope Lady Yuna. Although it may seem strange, you have become a symbol of strength for believers of New Yevon."

Yuna was shocked. She? A symbol of strength?

"But… but I don't support New Yevon, or any political party! I'm neutral." She replied as her voice rose.

"Of course, you are a symbol for all of Spira. After all, you have saved Spira twice now. People aspire to be like you." He said, his eyes inspiring awe.

"Believe me, it's not as great as it looks" sighed Yuna.

To her surprise, Baralai chuckled.

"What's so funny?" she demanded. How could he laugh at her misfortune?

"Forgive me, I didn't mean to offend you Lady Yuna. It occurred to me that you and I are in the same business. People think highly of us and wish to become like us. But really they can't imagine what it's like." He smiled. Yuna began to understand his meaning.

"One thing, which I think commends your statue more than others." He continued. "Is the fact that you always smile, and that is something I greatly admire." He said, as he observed her for a while. Yuna was startled, had he complimented her? She smiled in return, but was still confused. If he was complimenting her, then why was he doing it so discreetly? Before she could consider his full meaning, his friendly demeanour suddenly became more businesslike.

"If you'll excuse me lady Yuna, I must leave you now." He then briskly walked away.

Yuna watched him leave as his footsteps echoed down the hall. Curious. Whenever you get close to a normal conversation with him he abruptly exits, she thought. It was as if he had an alarm in his head or even a radar. Or was he doing that to hide something? It was strange, for him to come and find her only to leave her as eagerly as he had come. Was he embarrassed over something? Was it the compliment? Or was he just meeting her over necessity to be polite? She shook her head in confusion. Whatever it is, it is very complex.

Feeling a pang of hunger, she decided to return to her rooms. She ought to start making plans for her visit to the city. It has to stop raining sometime.

Yuna resurfaced in the dark, drawing in sharp intakes of breath. The dream had re-occurred again. It was dark outside but the persistent patter of rain had ceased. Unwilling to try to sleep again, Yuna wrapped her coat around her and left her rooms. It would be interesting to see the courtyards at this hour.

Walking outside, the corridors glowed with the blue light of the glyphs and spheres that decorated the walls. She watched her shadow flicker as she moved through the lights. After several minutes walking, she passed the entrance hall and reached a courtyard she was familiar with.

A fountain was set in the middle of a pool at the centre; it's water trickling softly with a luminescent glow. The courtyard was decorated with an abundance of lush flowers in varying colours. Yuna walked to the top right, where in the corner lay a pink blossom tree in full bloom. She sat herself on the bench beneath it and remembered.

The memory was short but sweet. Yuna had been about five years old. She had grown bored of waiting for her father to come home.

In her determination, she had set off towards Bevelle temple to find him. But as she had reached the entrance her resolve had faltered. She had only been in the temple once before with her father, and it looked a lot bigger than it used to. Feeling intimidated she had walked to the pool across from it. Only for her to be shocked as she saw how far from ground level she was.

Quickly she ran towards and through the entrance, where she stopped, panting. Her eyes squinted as they adjusted to the darkness. Suddenly a dark figure loomed over her.

"Child? May I help you?" The voice was deep and stern. She didn't like it and had run away, frantically searching for her father.

Inadvertedly she had ran into this very courtyard. Seeing the familiar red colour of her father's robes she had ran straight toward him like a magnet.

He stumbled backward, surprised by the sudden attachment to his robes.

"Yuna? Wha…? How did you get here? I thought Fernin was looking after you?" He said as he bent down to pick her up. Her eyes were red and glistening with tears.

"I'm …sorry. I wanted to see you." She said weakly, hiding her face because she knew she was in trouble. "Will… you forgive me?" She glanced up to see his reaction. He looked down at her solemnly, "Come here" he said. He took her hand, walked her to the bench under the tree and sat her down beside him.

Sitting there, she swung her legs nervously. Her feet didn't touch the ground.

"Now Yuna, look at me." Slowly she raised her head to regard him. Gently, he took her hands in his own. "Yuna, I must trust you to do as I say while I am gone. I'm sorry I can't be with you more often. I have training to do, for that new role I was telling you about." Yuna nodded and smiled.

"To be a summoner," she said.

"That's right. And you know that if I become a summoner I will have to travel far away." Her smile dropped as she remembered about the pilgrimage. Even then, he hadn't told her that he would have to sacrifice his own life to vanquish Sin. "Now in return for my forgiveness, I want you to promise me something." She looked at him blankly. "I want you to promise me that whenever you feel sad, even if it's about the smallest thing, that you will smile. For me, because when you smile you make me happy."

Back then she hadn't understood at all, nor realised that it would become a habit relied on during her own pilgrimage.

"Do you promise?"

It seemed such a strange thing to ask. Especially when she had just shook his trust. She expected punishment or a scolding or anything, just not this.

"Yes father," she had replied and remembering her promise, she smiled. And he returned it.

Ever since then, every smile she ever used during sadness was for him. She sighed, how she wished she could see him smiling back at her now. To see how proud he would be of her. But he was resting on the farplane and nothing could change that now.

The echoing of footsteps and the murmuring of low voices interrupted her thoughts. They were pacing slowly in the corridor behind her. She froze and listened intently, if she was careful enough they wouldn't notice her.

"… the situation is getting worse. The Al Bhed are growing hostile, we need to take action."

"It's not the Al Bhed who are growing hostile. It is the minority among them. You can't be friends with everyone." The voice sighed. "Though the feeling of neutrality would be acceptable."

Wait a moment that voice… that was Baralai's! He must have just finished a meeting. He sounded tired. And what was this about the Al Bhed being hostile? Curious, she listened in. The other voice was talking again.

"I share your concern Praetor, but the matter must be dealt with. We don't want it to escalate like it did before when we had to rely on Lady Yuna to calm things down. Speaking of Lady Yuna, maybe you could ask for her help?"

"No." He answered firmly. "She says she is neutral and we shouldn't drag her into New Yevon affairs."

"I understand, but ...maybe she wouldn't have to be. She could be an ambassador for both the Al Bhed and New Yevon. Her family ties fit perfectly."

Baralai became irritated but remained polite. "You speak as if she were a tool when I must remind you that she is a person. In any case, I doubt she will help. Yevon and New Yevon have betrayed her too many times for her to be able to trust us."

"She doesn't have to trust us exactly. She trusts you doesn't she?" Silence followed.

"I don't know, I can't be sure." He paused. "I'm reluctant to ask for her help, but I will consider it. Now if you'll excuse me Captain, I think I will retire for the night."

"As you wish, goodnight your grace."

"Good night Captain."

The voices separated and moved away. Yuna let out a long breath. That was close. She didn't know what to think of it. There was a problem with the Al Bhed and the "Captain" intended to use her to fix the problem? She sighed. Nothing was simple these days. But one thing was for sure; she wouldn't be staying in the temple at all now.

Feeling tired, she rose stiffly from her chair. She could still catch a few hours sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

~ Chapter 7 ~

The next day, she rose early and left for the city whilst everyone else was at the Morning Prayer ceremony. She then returned late at night, trying to avoid Baralai and his problems.

That day she had searched for her old nanny Fernin's house. Unfortunately, after finding her way through the maze of Bevelle's streets, what used to be a modest house, had been replaced by a swanky villa. There was nothing left to remind her of her childhood. Feeling a little deflated; she started to walk back to the temple.

She was so immersed in her thoughts and attempts to avoid attracting attention; she didn't know what hit her as she turned the corner. Literally.

"Ough" she said. It felt like all the wind had been knocked out of her.

"My lady! Forgive me I didn't see you." Replied a familiar voice. Yuna, still dazed, took the offer of his hand and allowed herself to be escorted to a nearby bench.

"No… forgive me. I should have… been more aware." Is all that she managed to mumble as he steered her there. As her vision unfogged she realised, wait… I recognise the contours of that face. "Isaaru!" she exclaimed. "How are you? It has been too long since we last spoke. I thought you were the honoured guardian of Zanarkand?"

"Indeed I am, but recently the monkeys have become a little more… abundant shall we say, than usual. I'm afraid the reason for it is still unknown." He said, chuckling. Yuna's cheeks flushed. She remembered all too well the antics that she, Rikku and Paine had got up to in Zanarkand; which included playing matchmaker for their furry friends.

"So what brings you to Bevelle?"

"I have some business with the Praetor and besides that, I have friends to visit."

Yuna smiled. "It's always good to see you Isaaru."

"So what are you doing now Yuna? I heard you've taken a break from sphere hunting."

"Heading back to my old roots, reliving childhood memories… that sortof thing." She sighed. "But a lot seems to have changed around here. I've missed so much."

"Ever since the eternal calm was declared everything has changed." He said thoughtfully. "But if you

ever wish to return to familiar ground, you are always welcome to come visit me. I am sorry, I will have to leave you now. I find the Praetor's schedule to be very strict." He said, smiling ruefully.

"I would be honoured Lord Isaaru."

"Oh no. It is I, who would be honoured." He teased, mocking a bow.

And with that, he strode away. It was nice to meet Isaaru again. She had feared that Zanarkand with all its pyreflies had begun to mess with his head. At least he appeared normal, on the outside maybe.

Feeling better after seeing a friendly face; Yuna returned to the temple.

* * *

The bustle of the city erupted around her, the many voices pulsating as it mixed with the smells of sweet meats and spices. Yuna took in a deep breath, drawing in the atmosphere that surrounded her: the bright colours of the stalls, the different races of the people who had congregated there that day. This is the place where she felt at ease, where she could dissolve herself into the excited vibes of the people and their trade. The Market.

The Market was held every fifteen days, no matter what the weather or the circumstances. This had been one of Yuna's favourite places in Bevelle when she was a child. When Fernin had let her out, she would run errands for the local stall-holders. In return, she received their trust and a few small gifts on the side.

Yuna weaved her way in and out of the many passages, exploring the sights and listening to the muffled noises of excitement echoing everywhere. She was relieved to find no one paid much attention to her. Deciding to remain inconspicuous, she had decided to wear a purple sari to help her blend into the myriad of colours.

Whilst looking among a stall of textiles, Yuna recognised instantly a yellow dress that would have suited Rikku. Then, she realised; she wasn't going to see Rikku for a while. It wouldn't hurt to send her a gift, Yuna thought, even if she was too heavily dusted in the sand of Bikanel desert to appreciate it.

Handing over her gil she tucked the dress into her satchel and continued to walk through the Market. Amongst other things, she bought new clothes, jewellery, a music sphere and gifts for both Rikku and Paine. As she examined a stall selling spices and incense, she was found.

"Excuse me, Lady Yuna?" said a panting voice behind her. She turned to see a teenage boy in the robes of a messenger of New Yevon. When she looked at him his eyes widened. Quickly he performed the elaborate bow. She wished he wouldn't.

"Yes?" she asked coldly. It wasn't his fault that he was sent to disturb her, but she was still angry that they couldn't keep themselves restricted to the confines of the temple.

The young boy stammered, "s-sorry to disturb you… my lady but I was ordered to give this message to you." He held out a triangle of paper with the seal of New Yevon on it. A unique piece of origami, she opened it. As she read the Yevon script, her face tightened. It was an invitation. An invitation to dinner, with the Praetor.


	8. Chapter 8

~Chapter 8~

In a fit of rage Yuna threw her satchel on the floor of her temple room, upsetting a nearby plant pot and scattering all its contents. Not only had the Praetor invited her to dinner, he expected her to dine tonight! How can you refuse the invite of the most important man in all of Spira? Disgusted with her predicament, she flounced off to the shower, dropping her clothes as she went. Hoping, that the spray of water would cool her anger and cleanse her of this ridiculous meeting.

Dressed in a towel she acquainted herself with the nearby mirror. With no escape in sight, she frowned at the reflection. She looked angry, and not just angry but pissed off! This is entirely Gippal's fault, Yuna declared in her mind. I was meant to come here to remember the past not be a puppet for stupid praetor-puppetman! Sighing, Yuna realised it was no use. She would just have to get over it.

For the first time, she considered why he had invited her. Surely this is just a whim for him. He must grow bored of all the Yevon admirers licking his boots. No, he does not seem like the indulgent sort. He wants me as an ally, that's what it is! That Captain has swayed him once and for all! So much for Yuna the person! Nevermind, now that she knew his game she was going to give him one evening he would never forget.

Now what outfit to wear? Yuna shuddered, realising she had consented to playing Baralai's mind games. No, Praetor! Dismissing her thoughts, she looked at her wardrobe. How was she going to play this? Chatty like Rikku, and never give him a chance to speak? No, that was too bold, she wouldn't be able to keep it up. Cold like Paine, and give him no pleasure in knowing her reaction? No, he knew Paine to well. He would recognise it instantly. Sighing again she realised she would just have to be firm and secretive; maintaining a neutral opinion on everything. Yuna didn't want him to know anything that he could possibly use against her later.

Yuna paused, realising how harsh she was being of him. All this mistrust and anger was never there before. But after overhearing that conversation, she couldn't trust him anymore. Even though he stood up for her, she still couldn't be sure whether he had changed his mind. Better stay on the safe side and give him nothing.

Looking through her dresses, she went for a simple, green halter neck that cascaded to the ground. She didn't want to wear anything revealing! Just as Yuna had finished adjusting the dress Methali walked in with a pile of linen and beamed.

"Oh my lady, you look stunning!"

Dammit, Yuna thought to herself. She gritted her teeth mentally and tried to enjoy the compliment.

"Thankyou Methali, I am considering not honouring the praetor's invitation. I do not feel… presentable." Yuna replied, faltering slightly near the end.

"Oh!" said Methali flustering up. "Don't worry, I know exactly what you need." She rushed into the kitchen. Where a number of clanging noises occurred. Yuna sighed for what felt like the millionth time that evening. I ought to be careful or I might deflate entirely!

Amidst all the chaos, a timid knock came from her chamber door. Yuna continued to stare glumly out onto the balcony, a perfect night sky unfolded itself before her. Yuna groaned as she realised all that could have possibly gone wrong hadn't. Unless… she just didn't turn up.

The knocking grew louder and a young boy's head popped around the corner. Fantastic, she thought. Another messenger, what did the Praetor wish her to know now? She stalked across the floor to the ignorant boy, carefully avoiding the plant debris that had spread over the floor. The boy froze in terror after seeing the wrath etched in Yuna's eyes.

"Lady Yuna, I came to inform you…" he gabbled quickly before being interrupted.

"You can tell Praetor Baralai that I am unfit to attend dinner tonight," she snapped.

"But my lady!" He protested weakly.

And with that Yuna gently turned the boy around and closed the door behind him. Feeling exhausted she slumped onto the door, clearly her lack of sleep was catching up with her. Yuna raked her hands through her hair in an attempt to soothe her throbbing head. She was just so tired.

Methali rushed back into the room with a steaming cup of something that smelled slightly minty.

"Here you are dear, this should calm your nerves," Methali offered to her.

Yuna was tired of resisting people forcing things on her so she took the cup and sipped some of the brew to satisfy Methali's desire to help. Methali sighed happily, clasping her hands in front of her chest. The drink was sweet, soft, and… comforting. Yuna sunk into a nearby armchair as an overwhelming warm feeling swept across her. Closing her eyes, she drifted off into a doze.

His blonde hair caressed her face in the silent kiss they shared, the moonlit beams shining through the water as their only witness. He brought her to his chest where she felt warm and safe. The water surrounding them, a glimmering haven for their love.

"Yuna," he whispered. She looked up, smiling into his deep aqua eyes. "Yuna?" She heard again, but his mouth never moved, he just gazed at her intently. Surely, you can't hear anything under water? She thought. "Yuna, can you hear me?" the voice continued, emanating concern. Confused, she touched his lips but still no sound or bubble came out. The question came again: "Can you hear me Yuna?" It kept coming, it echoed again and again, but still his serene face gazed lovingly at her. Something was wrong. She opened her mouth, trying to say his name, to calm him, to bring him back. "Tidus?" But before she could finish, water engulfed her throat and filled her lungs. His arms pulled away, she slowly sank deeper into the darkening abyss, thrashing for air.

Panting heavily Yuna started in the armchair. She couldn't breathe, she gasped for air. Her eyes a blur as the light burned into her. She felt water trickle down her forehead, she reached up to the wet flannel on her forehead and flung it away. She had to get out of the water. She struggled to stand up, but a hand gently pushed her back down and took her hand. All Yuna could distinguish was a fuzzy outline of a figure; the light was still too bright. "Tidus?" she whispered weakly. When no response came, she snatched her hand away from the intruder. Instead, it tried to touch her shoulder.

"Please Yuna, be calm. Are you alright?" The voice was soft but definitely a man.

Slowly the light dimmed and she recognised the silver hair of the Praetor dangling barely a few centimetres from her face. Suddenly noticing their proximity, she tensed, trying to sink back deeper into the chair. Her eyes betrayed her shock.

"Please your grace… you are so close." She managed to say.

He leaned back and walked away, Yuna's breathing started to ease, she just hoped that he would stay away. After a few moments the brisk footsteps returned, along with the thud of a chair. The next thing she knew the Praetor had returned and seemed determined to grab her attention. A long silence followed where both the participants stared at their hands. Yuna was reminded of how things were after the defeat of Vegnagun. She wanted change and she wanted it now!

"Was it you? Calling my name?" She enquired quietly, not daring to glance at him.

"Yes, you seemed …troubled in your sleep." Yuna groaned inwardly at the idea that he might have seen her when she was most vulnerable. But what did he want in the first place?

"Yes, just a bad dream." She remarked. "I'm sorry, did you come here for something?" She asked, looking at him, in what she hoped was a friendly and sane way. It seemed to work.

The Praetor straightened up in his chair, "I came to enquire after you, the boy said you were unwell. I wanted to see if I could help you. Forgive me for being so invasive." He stood up abruptly and Yuna recognised the signs of immediate departure. No, he wasn't getting away that easily, she wanted to know exactly what he was after. Yuna stood up suddenly, copying him, however she soon sat back down again after a sudden head rush. That was a smart move, she thought to herself. The Praetor was back again, though at a further distance than their first encounter.

"Are you sure you are alright Yuna?" He asked, his brow furrowed with concern. Yuna realised for the first time that he hadn't been referring to her by her title and relaxed a bit. He genuinely seemed to worry about her. That or he was afraid of losing a potential powerful ally. Yuna brushed away these cynical thoughts.

"I am fine, Thankyou." She said smiling weakly. Yuna tried to stand up gradually; the Praetor looked unsure of what to do. "I hope I am not distracting you from any of your duties your grace." The formality stung him once again. He put his hands behind his back, his neutral posture Yuna had started to recognise.

"No, this is some of my spare time. I just wanted to make sure you were comfortable." His voice losing all sense of feeling, with eyes scanning her face in that unsettling stare of his. Yuna agreed she was more than comfortable, but not so much in his presence! She kept this too herself.

"Thankyou, I…" The Praetor interrupted her mid-speech.

"I shall leave you now, forgive me for intruding on your privacy." He bowed and started to walk towards the door.

"Wait!" The sound escaped Yuna before she registered it entering her mind. He turned slowly, gazing at her intently. Now she had done it. "Umm… I mean please don't go. I am sorry I couldn't attend your dinner, which I am very honoured to be invited too." She pleaded, not knowing quite where this was going. "Sorry, I mean, could we spend some time by some other means?"

He took a step forward and cocked his head, "by other means?" Yuna took this as maybe her only chance to talk to him alone and the only time without any duties for him to escape too. Yuna closed the gap between them.

"Yes… It has been a long time since we have seen each other properly. Um… perhaps you would indulge me in a walk about the temple… so that we can talk… I mean as friends." She said, becoming quieter near the end, but never breaking eye contact.

The Praetor seemed to mull this over for a few seconds, then with a smile: "of course, I would be honoured by your company." He offered his arm, which she took. And with that, they strolled out of the now clean room. With Yuna wondering every second: What next??


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

As they strolled on the Bevelle Highbridge Yuna gazed to the stars above her and felt oddly comforted by their presence. Being surrounded by dazzling white lights wouldn't be such a bad existence, she thought to herself. Then all the attention would not be on the one star but on them all as a whole. She yearned for that anonymity, just to be normal and like everyone else. They had been walking in silence together for several minutes. Yuna following the Praetor's lead. He seemed to be deep in his own thoughts himself. Yuna glanced up to meet his hazel brown eyes gazing at her. Involuntarily she gasped, his gaze was so intense. He stopped walking and turned to face her, almost as if he were saying "enough."

"You look beautiful tonight Yuna." He whispered, cradling her chilled hands in his soft warm ones. Yuna started, she felt warmth in her cheeks and she scolded herself for blushing. Surely he must be mistaken? She must look terrible after that sleep… Oh my god! My hair! She mentally screamed. Her hands rose quickly to pat and tweak her hair. She stilled after hearing the gentle chuckle from the Praetor. "Do you not trust me? I would not lie to you Yuna." He took her hands gently back in his own. Yuna smiled sheepishly at him. Blushing when she found her hands next to his again. "I wouldn't want to face the wrath of one of the Gullwings." He joked, a relaxed smile easing onto his face. Feeling quite light-headed after all the evenings events she giggled.

Suddenly from the small spark of happiness, _he _flashed in her mind and disappeared leaving a concerned looking Baralai in his place. She sighed. She noticed he shifted uneasily on his feet. Before breaking the tense atmosphere with his calm voice.

"Yuna… I know something is troubling you deeply. I do not wish to pry but… if there is anything, anything at all that I can do to help then please don't hesitate to ask." Yuna nodded, her eyes fixed pointedly at his brown boots. She tried desperately to remove the welling of tears in her eyes. Why did the memories have to hurt her so much?

"Yuna." he whispered, his hand reached up as if to touch her face. Yuna panicked and swirled away, leaning to the ledge for support looking to the dizzying drop below. It seemed calming to watch the people of Bevelle go about their business at night. The bright lights of the city like steady pyre flies by a stream. Pyre flies reminded her of him, the day he faded into them and ceased to be real. A tear rolled down her cheek at the ever strengthening memory. She could remember his voice as clear as it were yesterday. Hearing no movement behind her she realised Baralai hadn't moved.

"I have nightmares" she stated. How childish it sounded to a man of such power. He had problems of greater weight than hers. He must think I am so silly! She scolded herself.

He walked to lean on the wall beside her, staring deep into the view of Bevelle. He made no move as if to speak, so she continued.

"I lost someone very dear to me… and… no matter how hard I try I can't just forget or move on!" She rested her head in her hands as her voice escalated with despair. The pain is a new constant in my life that will never go away. She contemplated if surviving Sin had been worth it. What if I had died? Would I get to see him… on the far plane? She snorted at herself with disgust. Considering death was weakness she could pull through this, she must! But… it hurts. It hurts so much. Everything seemed such an understatement in her life now that he was gone.

A warmth suddenly enveloped her shoulders. She felt the cloth and found the ropes on the collar, realising it was Baralai's jacket. She stammered: "Thankyou… Um This really isn't necessary." Her shivering told the truth.

"Come, let us find you somewhere more suitable to continue this." He gently held her shoulders and lead her away from the ledge. Yuna suddenly felt very dizzy and stumbled. Baralai compensated by threading an arm around her waist to support her as her head rested lazily on his shoulder. She felt oddly content like this. She breathed in a musky warm smell with a slightly spicy undertone. His scent was oddly comforting.

* * *

Yuna opened her eyes to find herself in warm surroundings. Staring into the flames licking hungrily at the grate she didn't notice Baralai easing her down to sit on a long couch. He sat there with his arms around her comfortingly. Yuna sat there hunched and stiff, still shivering slightly. She felt numb to everything, how easy it would be to just sit here and become a stone, cold, deaf and blind, left to watch life pass by like the statue dedicated to her in the temple. She was so absorbed in her own thoughts and the raw feeling at her throat and the pulsing heartbeat that refreshed every corrupted feeling throughout her again. Pulsing and fading, pulsing and fading. She didn't notice the water that fell from her eyes and braced her cheeks. Nor the caring hand that wiped them away.

"Shhh…" the gentle voice hushed. He was so kind, so warm so… nice. She let out a long shuddering breath as if the ropes about her ribcage had been cut. His touch made her feel human again. Slowly her statuesque pose melted and she leant back against his shoulder. She felt him tense fractionally but it passed in a second. It had been so long since she had been close to another human, she had missed the compassion, the companionship. Strangely she didn't feel so alienated as she did with other people. Baralai had been through enough as she had too. Both broken people, united. Enjoying this new cosy feeling Yuna grasped his warm hands and crossed his arms across her chest. Yes, she felt so safe now, secure, it was as if she was with.. No, don't think about him. Just… enjoy the feeling.

She felt him lean away and she started. "Don't go" she pleaded, barely a whisper, her eyes still shut. She then felt his arms on her waist and she thought he was pushing her away. But then he pulled her back to sit in front of him. His arms cradling her like before, his chin resting on her chilled shoulder. His feather-like hair tickling the side of her cheek.

"I'll stay with you all night if that is what you need, Yuna" he whispered in her ear. A rush of warmth rushed from her heart to her throat. The raw feeling abated.

"Thankyou." She smiled lightly, squeezing one of his hands crossed over her chest.

"Will you do me one thing in return Yuna?" he asked. Yuna tensed under his arms. She prayed that he didn't ask much. One problem was enough to deal with.

"Please… call me Baralai." He pleaded. Yuna smiled, such a simple request?

"Of course. Thankyou… Baralai."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

A dull light leaked into her eyes, Yuna stretched out happily on the lush, warm mattress. Opening them, she gasped in shock. Bolting upright, she glanced around taking in… Baralai's rooms! What on earth was she doing here? And in his bed! She jumped out of the covers and rubbed her arms anxiously. She was still wearing the green halter neck dress from before. What had happened last night? She glanced around and couldn't see the Praetor anywhere in sight. She darted across the room to the main doors and listened for any footsteps. Leaving the Praetors rooms in the morning was a sure way to start rumours! Hearing nothing she walked out calmly back to her rooms where she promptly crashed on her own bed.

Her breathing slowed and she contemplated the night. She remembered leaving her rooms with him to talk. Then it was cold so they went to the fire, she hadn't realised it was his quarters, she had been so out of it. He had held her and soothed her, he had been so calming. She guessed she had just fallen asleep and he had moved her to his bed. Realisation suddenly dawned. She had slept peacefully, the nightmare hadn't come! She sighed in happy relief. She felt quite rested, it was delicious.

Changing into her usual exploring outfit she met Methali on the way out.

"Milady Yuna! My you look well today" she beamed, clasping her hands.

"Thankyou Methali, your ministrations last night were a great help. What was it you gave me?" Yuna queried, she might use it again tonight. Anything to keep the nightmares away.

"Essence of Pilgadash, it helps calm peoples nerves, lowers inhibitions. Only to be used in extreme cases." Yuna froze; she had drunk an entire cup of that stuff. Lowers inhibitions? Had she really just fallen asleep last night or had it been more? Her face drained as her imagination conjured up terrifying thoughts.

"I have to go, Thankyou for your assistance." Yuna forced out before striding out of the temple and into the streets of Bevelle. Why did it have to be so complicated around him? She gritted her teeth and kept walking. She needed a distraction. So she went to do what calmed her most. Swimming.

* * *

A week passed of this routine of swimming during the day and hiding in her rooms at night. Baralai had sent her letters every day but she dared not open them and sought the refuge of the sea. At first people had tried to join her for company. Such a famous person swimming was too much to resist for them. They eventually faded away, deterred by rain and chill. Yuna had become oblivious to that after her pilgrimage. She was strong and that was the only thing that kept her going.

When she wasn't swimming she was re-educating herself on the maze of streets that was Bevelle. She had plenty of time to spend during the day so becoming lost wasn't an issue. With the temple being the highest building for miles around, trying to lose sight of it was difficult in itself.

She recalled many a time where she had stared up at the temple as a child in awe at its glorified architecture. It had been when her father was praying and training in his role. She would watch the glistening water cascade and envelop its features and squint to see if one of the many figures pacing the high bridge was her father. Fernin had had a tough time distracting her from looking up.

* * *

Each morning Yuna would get up to have breakfast and each time Methali would appear at her elbow with a freshly minted letter from the Praetor. Ever since that night there had been a new one arriving every morning. She waved it away and Methali placed it on the steadily growing pile on the desk she was provided.

Yuna gazed at the pile, torn between opening them all and devouring their contents or just throwing them into the fireplace. Methali saw her dithering as she chewed her morning bread.

"The Praetor must have alot he wishes to talk to you about." She commented.

Yuna looked down into her coffee, trying to dissuade this topic of conversation.

"Milady..." Methali touched her arm. "If you do not wish to read them, why not just tell him?" Yuna gazed at the sincerity in Methali's eyes. But shook her head. She didn't want to read them.

It wasn't that she was angry at him, she was just... afraid. He was trying to tell her something, something important. The fact that he was so persistent scared her even more. What was it he so desperately needed to say? She bit her lip at the possible repercussions of their night together.

She had opened her soul to him, had shown him the frail life within her. She was broken and he had accepted her, comforted her, and made her feel... normal, even if just for a moment. But with this comforting gesture she had seen in his eyes that he could offer more, that he was holding back. She knew that that would be the content of his letters. He danced round the edges of her mind waiting for her to invite him in. And now she had done it once she wasn't sure if she could stop herself from doing it again. She was protecting herself. By avoiding him.

A sigh from Methali interrupted her thoughts. Methali withdrew her hand and brushed her apron. In a sudden change she huffed and turned to Yuna pointedly.

"Now." She snapped. Her tone became businesslike. "I may be teaching my grandmother to suck eggs BUT listen close here," she came forward and placed an authoritative hand on Yuna's shoulder. Yuna gaped up at her.

"Change will always happen whether you like it or not and for better or for worse." She shook Yuna's shoulder gently as she punctuated her sentence. "YOU know this better than anyone with all that you've been through."

Methali's hand turned soft and stroked Yuna's face in a motherly fashion. "But for some reason as leader of all this change the leader itself has been left behind..." _and forgotten about_.

The words floated unspoken in the air. "Don't give up Yuna, don't be left behind. You deserve this Calm more than we do. It's time you woke up."

Then without another word, she straightened up and walked out of the apartment. Yuna sat there in stunned silence.

It's time you woke up...


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Yuna leaned against the ledge of the Highbridge, watching the people below her like that night before. Her fingers trailed over the Praetors seal on one of his letters. Methali's words were still running clear through her mind.

"_Change will always happen whether you like it or not"_

It was true, it always did. Yuna sighed. What was she doing? Why was she even here? To remember time without Tidus. Yet all she had managed to do was to put herself in an awkward and embarrassing position with the Praetor.

She was a mess. Broken, twisted, and warped, all of those things and more. She felt like... like a small sapling that had grown into a strong and beautiful tree that was now diseased and withering. Rotting from the inside, the only signs of distress would be seen when it was too late. But is it too late? Have I been left behind? She wondered to herself.

Her chest heaved as her thoughts began roaring in a cyclone of emotion and mixed feelings.

"_For some reason as leader of all this change the leader itself has been left behind... and forgotten about."_

Forgotten about... As soon as Yuna had saved Spira her role had lost its purpose. Her happy ending... with Tidus. It had been lost, in one great sacrifice to save Spira. Sometimes she wondered at herself why she didn't fall with him. To live forever, together on the Farplane.

But she hadn't, she still had her friends. Although even they seemed to have left her alone. She didn't blame them. They had helped her as much as they could. The rest she had to do for herself.

One man still tried. Baralai.

What is it that you see in me? Why don't you just forget me like everyone else? Let me disappear from this world; let me stay transfixed as a memory in time. Let Spira remember Yuna the saviour. Not Yuna the High Summoner with a broken heart.

As she felt the familiar strain of loss weigh down heavy on her heart, something small began to give way. It was... It was a memory. She felt his arms around her again, his gentle breathing. The bliss of security. But they were not Tidus's arms, they were... Baralai's.

Yuna stared out wide-eyed in shock at the discovery of the feelings she suddenly felt. They were... new feelings. Warm feelings. Happy feelings! And Yuna broke out into a small smile. Then from the pleasure of that smile she felt a pull at her diaphragm. A juddering sensation rocketed through her and she emitted a small but perfect: Ha!

She was laughing! She let it flow out of her like water in a bubbling stream. To think it had been so long since she had laughed, since she had felt this way, this...happy!

She kept laughing, too ecstatic to stop she felt so high and light! And then a thought came to her. I should go see him. I need to tell him, he must know this. After all this time he had been waiting she now felt she had an answer. Not wanting her new found confidence to give way she grabbed his letters close to her chest and ran down the Highbridge towards his office, emitting small giggles along the way.

Approaching the corridor to his rooms, Yuna slowed. She hadn't considered that he might be in meetings all day. Biting her lip she pulled the letters closer to her chest as she tried to encourage some resolve to finish what she started. Stepping forward hesitantly, she knocked on the door.

Silence ensued... Yuna's heartbeat quickened as she heard footsteps come closer. It was not Baralai who opened the door, but the messenger she had met weeks ago. She remembered pushing him out the door hastily. He blushed when he saw her.

"Milady?" He asked apprehensively.

"Please, call me Yuna." She smiled. Her role no longer existed. She only lived for herself now. The boy smiled weakly in return before sheepishly saying:

"Yuna."

Yuna smiled widely. "Is the Praetor here?"

"Um, yes. Please follow me."

As he ushered her inside, she placed her arm on his elbow gently. She noticed that he flinched.

"Please... forgive me for my behaviour towards you before. It was ungracious of me." She whispered. The boy nodded back, blushing at the thought of being found whispering to the High Summoner Yuna. He seemed too embarrassed to speak causing Yuna to giggle.

She then followed the boy through to the Praetor's office. The door opened to find New Yevon's leader pouring over his work, oblivious to their arrival. Yuna studied his lean form as he worked studiously in a world of his own. She seemed enraptured in her study of him, only to be rudely awakened when the boy closed the door behind him. The Praetor looked up. Their eyes connected and Yuna gasped, stepping backwards.

She didn't have to do this, she could go now. Forget the whole thing. It was such a silly idea anyway. What had she been thinking? The coolness of uncertainty dripped through her, she was about to turn to leave when...

"Yuna!" His voice surprised and... happy. She couldn't turn back now.

He stood up and walked towards her, his eyes alight with polite curiosity. Yuna stared fixedly at the floor, her cheeks flaring with embarrassment. She began to rub her fingers anxiously. "How can I help you?"he enquired. He left a small gap between them, holding his hands behind his back in reaction to her anxiety.

Her cheeks flared up at his question. Was this how it was always going to be? Could she never bring herself to look him in the eye? Meanwhile as if host to her internal debate, he waited at the edges of her mind.

"I came to tell you something." She stated, stronger than she thought she could. Her eyes flickered up to glimpse the fleeting surprise that graced his features. He did not make any move to speak, so forcibly lifting her eyes to his she tried to make the words come... but she had dried up. Nothing came out. She ducked her head flushing again.

Let's take this slowly, try again. Little by little, you can do this.

She walked behind his desk towards grand doors which opened to a balcony overlooking the city. The bright colours appealed to her, she felt less restricted outside of the office. Standing by the railings she noticed that he had followed. Realising that she was still holding the letters foolishly she offered them back to him. "I'm sorry I never got to read these."

He looked at her calmly but made no move to take them.

"They are yours to keep Yuna, read them when you are ready" he reassured. So Yuna put them atop an empty table outside.

She stared back out over the view, small blurry dots congregated in the distance. She realised with a smile that it was market day again. It was good she was trying to do this; she no longer wanted to be unaware of time and her surroundings.

"Yuna, I..."

"Wait... I..." she smiled, shaking her head at her loss of words. She decided to make it easy, just start from the beginning. However, starting is always the hard part.

"I decided to come here because... I needed to remember good memories in my life. To remember myself and to get away from the memories that haunt me now."

_The lake, the pyreflies, the kiss..._

She paused, trying to organise her maelstrom of thoughts.

"I was lost in my own life, inhabiting a shell of myself. And in some ways I still do... But I realise now that, really, I wasn't seeking to remember old memories. I wanted to make new ones." And she looked up at him, praying that he understood the full meaning of her words. She stood to face him, still clasping her hands but now she could look him in the eye.

"I need new memories, good ones, happy ones, strong ones. Ones that remind me of who I am and of how important those close to me... are." She looked away hesitantly. His soft brown eyes still trained on her. She reached out gently to take his hand.

"Baralai... will you be in my memories?" She swallowed nervously. "With me?"


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

"_I was lost in my own life, inhabiting a shell of myself. And in some ways I still do... But I realise now that, really, I wasn't seeking to remember old memories. I wanted to make new ones." And she looked up at him, praying that he understood the full meaning of her words. She stood to face him, still clasping her hands but now she could look him in the eye. _

_ "I need new memories, good ones, happy ones, strong ones. Ones that remind me of who I am and of how important those close to me... are." She looked away hesitantly. His soft brown eyes still trained on her. She reached out gently to take his hand._

_ "Baralai... will you be in my memories?" She swallowed nervously. "With me?"_

Cradling his warm hand, she glanced up to see his reaction, her heart pounding unbearably fast. She searched for his eyes, only for her to find them staring at their interlocked hands.

Finally she heard him breathe out a long shuddering breath. She trembled slightly, trying desperately to control her nerves. It felt like an eternity had passed before his soft eyes finally captured hers. Her heart rate escalated even further. She tried not to blink, refusing to break eye contact first.

After what seemed an age, he stepped forward until they were barely a few inches away. He tentatively reached out a hand and caressed her cheek, his fingers tracing her pale skin. Yuna visibly fluttered on contact. She placed her hand on top of his in an attempt to stay his hand and prolong the tingling sensation he brought to her.

She saw a smile dance on his lips at her gesture, his eyes alight and playful. But this moment soon passed and his expression became sombre and thoughtful as his thumb stroked her cheek.

"Yuna..." he whispered. Yuna blinked hard, desperately trying not to cry out from a mixture of frustration, joy and confusion.

Then, leaning in towards her ear, he whispered his answer.

"I would be honoured."

Yuna let out a sigh of relief. She had been holding her breath for so long she was surprised she hadn't turned blue! But before she could grin and jump about with her inner excitement. His intoxicating eyes stilled her.

Leaning forward, he cupped her face and paused, before brushing his lips tenderly against her own. Yuna froze involuntarily. Feeling her change he drew back slightly, his eyes wary. She smiled lightly, revelling in the new sensation. As his posture relaxed, an expression she had never seen before graced his features. His eyes grew dark and smouldered like the embers of a dying fire. He drew her into another kiss, his lips moulded perfectly against her own.

She felt then, for the first time, the intensity that resided within him, the part of him that he shielded from view. The gentle and calm exterior, to hide the deep and almost earnest power he possessed. As his lips caressed and teased her own, she felt the passion within him, but he did not use it. It was almost as if he was searching... or even waiting for something. Something he needed ... almost desperately. Like he was beseeching her to...

The door banged open.

"Your grace! I... ah." The boy faltered as he stood in astonishment at the image of the Praetor and High Summoner intertwined.

Yuna pulled away first, her cheeks flaring pomegranate pink. But she didn't pull away from him completely as she still held his hand. Looking to Baralai, she saw that he appeared calm and undisturbed. He was a true leader, taking all situations in his stride. The boy however, looked like he was about to pass out. Baralai broke the stunned silence.

"Yes, Ilmen?" He enquired, breathing calmly. Nothing about his presence hinted at the heated moment they had just shared.

"I... uh... I..." He swallowed audibly, still unable to take his eyes off Yuna. She smiled warmly at the boy, still heady from the past few minutes.

He shook his head as if to rid himself of unwanted thoughts. "Apologies for the intrusion, your grace. I... uh...Captain Tunmar wishes to speak with you. He says it is urgent." He stared at the floor, sheepishly.

Yuna glanced at Baralai; it seemed their expressed sentiments would have to wait for another time. Baralai was still the Praetor after all. He was not as free as she now was. She looked down at their joined hands. Though... perhaps they needed this break before things got too serious. To say she had been overwhelmed by him would have been an understatement. She was still emotionally fragile; she needed to understand what this meant for her... and for him. This had all happened so fast! But as she looked up she saw sincerity in his eyes, eyes that captivated her so easily. She didn't regret for a single moment what had happened between them.

Baralai sent the boy away before turning to her.

"Yuna, I do not wish to leave you but I am afraid it must be so." He kissed the palm of her hand. "If you would like, you may rest in my quarters for the time being. I will return there after this minor issue has been resolved. Would that be amenable to you?"

"Of course." She nodded, still smiling as giddy feelings ran wild through her. Baralai smiled.

"We shall talk again soon then."

He then summoned the boy again to show Yuna the way to his quarters. They sneaked out a side passage that bypassed the main entrance to his official study. It seems Baralai had an entire wing of rooms for himself!

After losing track of where they had been, they finally arrived at his quarters. The doors opened to reveal a cluttered, yet lived in room. A desk with papers scattered in various strategic piles and a table covered in books. Another door led to his bedroom, which in contrast was very clean and orderly. Yuna guessed it was because he probably spent less time sleeping than any other activity he pursued. As the door closed behind her, Yuna turned around speculatively. This was the Praetor's private abode. Anything and everything was open to her here. There was so much to look at! Curiosity rioted through at the opportunity to understand the mysterious man that was Baralai. Tapping her fingers together she wondered: where should I start looking?


	13. Chapter 13

As Yuna glanced about the room she considered her options. Creeping over to the desk she gazed over the piles of paper, scribbled in Baralai's flowing yet hurried script. Scanning the pages she saw nothing of interest. Mainly domestic disputes between the priests, budget allocations and an agenda for himself which was covered in more of his notes, one was circled in particular. "MUST GO" she read above the words: "Maesters ball."

Yuna gasped. She remembered very well the annual festival where all the Maesters of Yevon would congregate and celebrate the power of Yevon. She remembered Lulu saying how when she visited with Lady Ginnem, Lulu's summoner before her, that she had taken part in the festivities with the other summoners by summoning her aeons.

When Sin returned in his cycle, the event was always held ten weeks after to bring hope anew to the people of Spira. The Maesters would mingle and dance with the people and give their blessings.

Yuna remembered as a little child, dancing with her father at the festival the night he had been proclaimed a Summoner. The memory was bittersweet, as he had started his pilgrimage the very next morning and she had started her very own pilgrimage to the safety of Besaid Island. A new life for both of them.

Straightening from his desk she realised that that was what all the preparations around the temple were being made for. She smiled lightly at his reminder that he must attend. She didn't envy him. The event would be highly controversial; she just hoped that it had been planned carefully. Though, this was Baralai, she doubted that he could be careless about anything.

Turning away from his desk, she regarded the table covered with books. Flicking through one of them, she saw pages of dry text that would have sent Rikku to an early grave if she had been forced to read it. Leaning back, she sighed.

This is no good, she thought to herself. This is all work, there's nothing personal here. Nothing that would hint at what is really going on behind those brown eyes.

She felt ashamed with herself that she had told him so much about her own problems and yet knew so little about his. And she didn't mean Praetor problems, she meant HIS personal problems. The issues that had made him into the man he was today. That was the thing, Tidus had always… She stopped herself mid thought. No, I can't compare Baralai and Tidus. That would be unfair to both of them.

On a gut feeling, she decided to explore his bedroom. In his room she found: a grand four poster bed in his token colour of green, a dresser, a wardrobe and a bedside table. The dresser had a single comb on top. Walking towards it she opened the drawers and had a nosey. Some shirts lay inside, gently pushing them to the side she delved further to find… Oh! So that's what his underwear looks like. She blushed furiously as she realised how invasive she was being. But just as she was about to pull away in embarrassment she found a little black key sitting at the bottom. Curious, she thought.

Taking the key out she peered around the room to look for the matching keyhole. Ah-ha! In the door of the wardrobe lay a little keyhole that was just the right size. Rushing over to it she turned it in the lock. A soft "thunk" noise emanated above her. Glancing up she found that the panel above the doors was creaked open a little. Slipping her delicate fingers between the crease she eased the panel open to find a small bound book inside. Trying not to raise her hopes up too high, she fingered the leather bound book and opened its contents. Yes! It IS his diary. She rippled with excitement as she held in her hands the key to unlocking the mystery that was Baralai.

Opening it to the final entry her eyes devoured the elegant script.

"…_I cannot seem to remove her from my mind. Everything I think about, every decision I make, I find myself wondering what she would think. I find my days plagued by daydreams of her smile or her beautiful eyes of green and blue. I have even been taken to task at the council! How am I to continue to be driven to distraction? What am I to do when my heart yearns to see her again? Even in sleep I cannot escape her in my dreams._

_I see no other solution but to tell her. But how can I do so when she is in so much pain? No. Right now I must remain silent. She needs my help as a friend and if that is all that I can be then I accept my part. What it would be like to see her smile again_…"

Yuna closed the book rapidly, her heart thumping wildly. How had she been so stupid? How had she been so callous and cruel? Her heart ached at the memories she held where she had sought to avoid him. When she had been letting her own frustrations leak out towards him. He didn't deserve to be treated like that. She had never met a more kind-hearted person.

She felt sick in her stomach with the remembrance of her past behaviour. And even now she was snooping about his rooms and reading through his diary! Closing the book, in haste she returned his room to its original state.

Feeling so ashamed, she decided she had to leave… NOW. Walking towards the door she reached for the handle only to find it already turning…

"Baralai!" she exclaimed as she saw him come in to view.

His eyebrows rose. "Yuna, are you alright?" Concern filled his voice.

"Oh… yes. I… I just didn't expect you to…" She stammered.

"To return?" His eyes were playful as they regarded her. "I apologise for the wait, Captain Tunmar can be quite demanding on a man's time."

She smiled back at him awkwardly.

"Are you going to let me in?" He asked kindly.

"Oh! Oh yes of course. I'm so sorry." She stepped aside briskly. Arghh! Why couldn't she keep it together? She was being so silly!

"Thankyou," he walked in and stopped by one of the chairs artfully arranged in the room.

Yuna closed the door and found herself watching him, intrigued, as he deftly removed his coat to reveal a white shirt underneath. As he turned around she found that his neck was now exposed. She found herself staring at his chocolate brown skin, marvelling at it. It just looked so… She shook herself mentally and seeing that he was watching her she quickly gazed to the ground. She clasped her hands behind her back.

"Truly Yuna, is there something troubling you?" He asked softly.

Yuna cursed herself internally. _There's no need to be so prudish now, especially since you've already kissed him! You like him don't you?_ She glanced up to catch his eyes and took in his elegant form. Yes, I do. Very much. _Then why are you so afraid?_ Because she still felt the shame coursing through her. It burned in her veins.

"I'm sorry Baralai." She forced herself to look up. "I just find myself to be awfully shy around you."

He smiled reassuringly at her. "Would it surprise you to know that you've had the same effect on me?"

She warmed to that. "Then surely we are in dire straits sir, if neither one of us can express what we truly desire?" She said playfully. She saw him pause for a moment and consider her jest. Just when she thought maybe she had gone too far, he responded.

"Indeed we are my lady." He walked closer until he was barely a breath away. "Perhaps then we should talk not and let our actions reveal our true intent."

She felt his warm breath tickle her cheek, and that wasn't the only part of her that was warm! She knew she was melting. Her insides were going all gooey and she couldn't help but smile at him coyly.

"Then you have my silence." She whispered.

Wrapping his arms about her, he rubbed his nose gently along her own before gazing deep into her eyes and kissing her warmly. As her lips parted, she found herself moulding into his form and letting all her worries fall away as he kissed her so tenderly.

* * *

Ending the kiss, they rested their foreheads against each other and looked into each other's eyes. Yuna smiled as she felt his platinum hair tickle her cheek. She felt so safe and secure in his arms. She relished the feeling after being so long in isolation from the rest of the world.

Thinking about the rest of the world, her mind came back to the diary she had found. She closed her eyes and sighed.

"Yuna… you seem tense." He gently stroked her hair away from her face. "Why not tell me what is on your mind?"

Looking up at him she felt her eyes watering, she didn't want to ruin it all but she had to say or she'd never be at peace with herself.

"Baralai I need to apologise." She pulled away slightly but still held his warm soft hands. She took a deep breath. "My behaviour towards you before was unacceptable and I'm sorry."

To her surprise Baralai chuckled gently.

"Yuna, I have been treated far worse by Yevon officials. You have nothing to be sorry for." He squeezed her hands reassuringly.

"But that's not all." She said haltingly. "I… I… I read your diary. I'm so sorry." She confessed, squeezing her eyes shut. She was terrified of how he would react. What if she had unknowingly ended what had barely begun?

Hearing nothing, she opened her eyes a little. Well… he was still there. His face looked sombre yet he still held her hands.

"Why?" He asked simply.

She breathed heavily. Well she had better finish what she started. The damage was done.

"Because I felt bad that you knew so much about me and my problems and I wanted to know yours… So I could try and… help." He still looked at her impassively. "But then I found that it was me that was your problem and I felt terrible."

Silence descended upon them.

"You know… all you had to do was ask Yuna. I wouldn't deny you anything."

"I know." She whispered, her heart pounding against her ribs. "You're… you're allowed to be angry with me. I shouldn't have done it. It was wrong of me." She pulled away slightly but he held firm.

"It was not the way I had intended for you to find out. But in some ways it is easier now that you know." His eyebrows furrowed as he seemed to consider something in his mind. "I would hope that… I would not wish you to feel… forced Yuna. I care for you and I would want you to choose me. Not to feel trapped, now that you know how I feel about you." His brown eyes sought her own and she could tell how vulnerable he felt.

Stepping forward, she slipped her arms around his neck and kissed him gently.

"I want you Baralai, no one else." She whispered. A smile pulled at the corner of his mouth as he replied: "Good," before kissing her once more and in doing so releasing the passion he had kept restrained in fear of rejection.

Breathless, she smiled at him as they broke away; they held each other close in silence.

"So…" Baralai said. "You were looking for my underwear were you?" He teased.

She blushed hard. "No! I…" She shook her head. He laughed.

"Your cheeks turn a delightful shade of pink, did you know that?" He grinned mischievously.

Yuna stuck out her tongue in return before they both laughed together.

"Truly, it is good to see you smile again." He said as he held her tight in his arms.

* * *

_Thanks to all of you who have read, reviewed and followed this story :) I know I've been incredibly slow to update but life just seems to get in the way! I promise to get it finished! I hope you enjoy this chapter and please review if you like :) x_


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